Trouble

Little did I know that the pain and the numbness in my right leg was a sign of yet something else I have to worry about. I thought I was out of the woods, but ...

To be continued.

Ready for a Trip??

During the summer of 2004, we decided to book a cruise on the Queen Mary 2 in May 2005 with some days spent in London pre-cruise before we started our crossing from Southampton. I love cruising, I love doing transatlantic ocean crossings, and I love England. What could be better? I deserved this trip after my surgery, or so I thought.

Surgery was late October, the brace would come off in late January, and I should be good to go by late May. Well, I can't really sleep on a plane, the flight was about six hours long and the trot through Heathrow after we landed was l-o-n-g. It didn't worry my back, but my right leg was bothering me. That, plus I was just plain tired from lack of sleep. The car ride into London from the airport was yet another ordeal, since there seemed to be accidents and backups wherever we went. It took us twice as long to get to our hotel in London from Heathrow as it normally does.

After finally catching up on our sleep, we went out sightseeing. Once again, I think I was a little premature with this. I thought I could do more walking, thought I could put up with the increasingly numb and painful right leg issues, but it was very tough. I took my medicines for pain and did the best I could to enjoy myself in London. Things were better when we got on the ship, even though it was the largest passenger ship afloat. I did a lot of walking, but on my schedule and at my leisure. In hindsight, I would have waited a few more months to do this trip.

...And More Patience ...

Time goes by slowly. I play on my computer, which is one of the only things that make time fly, I also watch DVDs and some TV, I read a lot and just wait to get better. My X-rays show my fusion is "taking" nicely, and there's bone growth where it should be.

The pain is very slowly lessening, but when I do something I shouldn't, move in a way I shouldn't, I'm reminded that part of my lower back is no longer flexible, and it never will be again. I asked for a copy of my X-rays the last time I was at the hospital for one of my check-ups so that I could put it up on the fridge to remind myself of what's in my back, what kind of "tool chest" of screws and rods is back there now. A tiny little piece of artificial disc is also permanently nestled between my L4 and L5 vertebrae, along with all the metal. Whenever I look at that X-ray, I feel like I'm looking at someone else's back, except when I try to move. Then, I remember.

I don't go out much, mainly because I'm on heavy-duty pain meds and because I have a back brace that isn't easily hid by clothing, even though it's winter and sweaters are in. I can't drive yet, so if I want to go somewhere, Hans has to take me. I don't like to trouble him because he's been so good about doing things around the house that I can't do right now. We manage to do some visiting with friends, but even that is limited. We tried to go to a friend's home in central Jersey for a holiday open house in mid December, but the car ride was a bit too much for me, pain-wise. With too much time on my hands, I decided to make up a holiday card for my surgeon and his dynamite staff. That's it, above.

Patience is a Virtue

So, I sleep and I walk and I take my pain meds. After ten days, I go back to my surgeon’s office to get my staples removed. Then, it’s back home to do the same things … sleep, walk and take my pain meds … again and again. I have to learn to be patient, as this fusing business will take a while. In fact, from what I’ve read and from what my doctor has told me, I will be healing for about eighteen months in total, so I better get used to being patient. I’m not ready for much of anything right now, so I look forward to getting my brace off at three months and being able to drive again. Small steps, small steps.

One thing I wish I could control better is the wearing off of my pain meds in the middle of the night. When I first got home, I was using Oxycontin and morphine sulphate for pain, having just been eased from my morphine pump at the hospital. A few weeks after my surgery, I was using Percocet (oxycodone), one every four hours, and Oxycontin, one every twelve hours. I don’t think the Oxycontin did me much good, personally, but the Percocet kept me feeling human.

But there was a problem. I would take a Percocet at about midnight, but be awakened by the most awful pain at about four in the morning. It wasn’t like I wasn’t sleeping and was in pain. The pain actually woke me up! I tried to find a way around this, but I found that I just had to wait until my pain started to abate by itself. That took a couple of weeks more. Then, I was able to sleep through the night. Of course, I would start to get up with pain later and later, like six or seven A.M., but at least I got through the night without being awakened.

Then, there was the back brace. I have to admit there were times when I took it off and just sat very still, reading or watching TV. I was to have it on all the time, except when showering or sleeping. That’s the reason I took a lot of naps. I could ditch the brace with impunity. Plus, the sleeping seemed to do me good. I got used to putting that brace on and taking it off in a hurry. If there’s ever some kind of Olympic event for this, I’m ready. Otherwise, I don’t know why I thought it was important to be so skilled with that thing.

Anyway, the back brace was officially dumped on January 28th at my surgeon’s office. I called my girlfriends to see if they wanted to go out to lunch that next week … and I drove!